Reality....

I was holding on, I think....holding on that a doctor was going to tell me that it was a mistake; my daughter was NOT pregnant. Soon, the words, "Yes, she is pregnant" took away my last hope. I remember being amazed that Katy was sobbing. Did she really fear a miscarriage? Was she really so enamored with the idea of having a baby that she was terrified to lose it? I only felt numbness. I knew who the father was. I didn't have to ask her the question, "Do you know who the father is?" The "father" was a man ten years older than Katy....a man who had swooped into her life and showered her with gifts, attention and promises. She, of course, wanted him to come to the hospital. So did I. I immediately wanted to set the tone that this was also HIS responsibility. Katy called him and he sped to the hospital. Then we waited......we waited to see if the bleeding was controllable. We waited to see if the pregnancy were viable. We waited to see how our lives were going to change.

The long ride

I remember driving. I don't remember what clothes I had thrown on. The streets in our town were deserted. The stillness in the air was almost unbearable. Katy kept whispering over and over, "I'm so sorry, Mom". I couldn't look at her. I remember saying in a monotone, "I just can't talk to you right now. Please don't make me talk to you." The only sounds for the remainder of the drive were Katy's soft sobs. I was on auto-pilot: park the car, get out of the car, walk into the emergency room, tell the nurse, "My daughter is pregnant and I think she is miscarrying",sit down, remain silent, fill out paperwork. Then I remembered, "My God, I left the house at 2am and didn't even tell my husband."

An unexpected journey of love......

It was 2:00 am..... I was awakened by my teenage daughter whispering beside my bed.... "Mom, I am so sorry. I am so sorry." Tears were rolling down her cheeks and the fear in her face was dark. I was instantly awake, wrapped my arms around her and said, "Sorry for what?". The answer came softly...."Mom, I'm pregnant and I think I'm losing the baby." Bam. In that one sentence, my world changed forever. I had no time to even assimilate what she had said. My pregnant daughter was bleeding and I knew I had to take her immediately to the hospital.
The journey had begun..........